


keep fighting

by aurivity



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but is there a whole lot of plot o boi, this isn’t as dark as it seems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-10 20:09:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18414983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurivity/pseuds/aurivity
Summary: “think about it, jisung—some old dead dudes or me?”+in which Minho helps Jisung cope with his suicidal thoughts using bad, flirty jokes for as long as he can keep Jisung occupied. Jisung likes it. But, he can’t really say it helps.(or)In which Jisung writes small journal entries detailing his small encounters with Minho. He wishes he could actually get better for him.





	keep fighting

**Author's Note:**

> hey!!
> 
> I wrote this fan fiction after reading a joke my friend made a long time ago to help me with my own issues, and I wanted to write something about it.
> 
> Basically, the way the chapters are ordered goes like this: comfort, journal entry/more plot, then repeat, and then finale.
> 
> Please go easy on me, as English isn’t technically my first language!!
> 
> -Yuna :D

“hey, jisung-ah, come on now. I’m way prettier than clouds.”

+

Minho sighed, staring into the practice room mirror. The crimson walls with hundreds of black scratch marks made Minho angrier than normal, the wooden floor and its squeaks against his shoes made Minho annoyed as hell, and the quiet noise of the giant white fan spinning made Minho want to choke on ten dicks. One of their new songs, Maze of Memories, played faintly in the background. The sound reverberated off the wall, giving it a slightly creepy feeling. Minho bit his lip, listening to Jisung’s rap. It rung nicely in his ears, a scary yet calming sound. 

Minho was not one for sentiment. Frowning, he carefully set his water bottle down, leaving the cap slightly screwed off. Minho was too lazy to fully tighten the cap, subconsciously deciding it took too much time. Wrapping his arms around his legs that were already pulled close to his body, Minho sighed yet again. Internal angst was not something he dealt well with; did anyone actually deal with it? Pursing his lips, Minho decided again: no. 

Today had been a particularly bad day for the dancer. He’d started it off with sleeping past his usual waking time, then missing the bus that usually took him to the studio, leaving him to walk in the rain. Once he’d gotten to the practice room, he’d found out that all his members had left to the convenience store without him. Which, you know, was normally perfectly fine, considering he took 10 minutes extra to get there, but Minho was too pissed to process things clearly. After that, he’d decided to just go practice alone. Even though he wasn’t supposed to. Checking the time on his phone (2:23 A.M), Minho decided he couldn’t give any fucks anymore. Being eliminated took his last one, he thought.

A sudden knock on the wooden door startled Minho. He almost dropped his phone, cursing, as he turned around. The ground below him squeaked, making Minho cringe. Annoying ass floor, he thought.

Seungmin poked his head in the door. “Hey. We’ve been looking for you this whole day,” he said nonchalantly. Minho watched Seungmin walk in the room, straighten his back, and then ruin it by leaning back on the cold walls. 

Minho snorted, finding it slightly entertaining. He decided to put his hurt feelings away for the benefit of the group. “Well, yeah, couldn’t find you guys, so I just sat down in here and started practicing the tracklist’s choreography. I think this is my,” Minho paused, thinking, “my 8th time on Maze of Memories?”

Seungmin raised an eyebrow, dropping his arms from his chest to his side. He calmly walked over, managing not to make his sneakers squeak. After a few seconds of standing in front of Minho, just staring at him, Seungmin took a seat next to him, setting a chocolate bar. He softly nudged it towards Minho.

Minho slightly opened his mouth in confusion, taking the chocolate. The look in Seungmin’s eyes said, “for you,” so Minho opened it and immediately broke a square off, shoving it in his mouth. He hadn’t eaten since 4:10 P.M.

“So,” Seungmin said, plucking at his sweatshirt, “today the members have kinda been in disharmony. I came here to talk to you about it since, you know, you weren’t there long enough to get mad at anyone. Needed to rant without anyone having any bias. Then again, you’re still biased. You’ll just have to do.”

Minho raised his eyebrows (he couldn’t find the energy to raise one only right now) in surprise. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I’m a perfectly fair man, I don’t choose sides based on who I like more!” he said, trying to defend himself.

Seungmin laughed, hitting his knee. After Minho didn’t join, Seungmin calmed down and gave Minho an odd look. “Oh, you weren’t joking?” Seungmin snorted. “You choose Jisung’s side every single time. Jisung could say 2 plus 2 equaled 5 and you’d still think he was right.”

Minho crossed his arms in defiance. “Excuse me? I do not favor Jisung. I like all my members the same,” he said. (Lie. Minho didn’t know that yet, though.)

Minho didn’t think there was anything wrong with how his eyes maybe lingered on Jisung too long. With how he always dreamed about holding the younger in his arms, smoothing his hair out. With how he wanted to protect Jisung from every single evil in the world. With how—

Seungmin sarcastically nodded. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Minho.”

Minho rolled his eyes, knocking his water bottle over. “Just go rant about what happened,” he said.

Seungmin turned serious, somberly nodding. He took a deep breath before starting. “So today we were practicing Miroh without you, and it’s the first chorus where you’re the center. Chan points out that Hyunjin’s a bit too far right, and Hyunjin snaps back like, ‘Uh, no?’ Anyway, it didn’t sit well with Chan, and he scolded Hyunjin for being disrespectful. Then, Jeongin and Felix got mad, and they were like, ‘But you don’t control us, we have our rights, blah, blah, blah.’ Then I was like, ‘Hey, how about we all calm our tits?’ And of course, that kinda didn’t happen,” Seungmin finished, turning a light shade of red.

Minho paused for a second and sucked in his cheeks. “You. Told Chan. To calm his tits.”

“Maybe.”

“How the fuck are you alive and breathing right now?” Minho asked. He was genuinely curious as to how Seungmin survived the leader’s wrath. Or, for the record, Hyunjin and Felix’s. Jeongin was not scary at all.

Seungmin leaked forward, taking a piece of Minho’s chocolate. “Might’ve bolted right as I said that,” he said, chewing thoughtfully in the tiny piece.

Minho sighed, rubbing his forehead. “So, what’d the other members do?” he asked.

Seungmin stopped chewing for a second, obviously tryin his best to remember. “Uh. I’m pretty sure Woojin and Changbin were trying to calm Chan down. Hyunjin, Felix, and Jeongin formed like, a ritual circle to protect themselves. I’m actually not sure where Jisung went. I still don’t know where he is,” Seungmin admitted.

Minho’s fur would have bristled if he was a cat. “What? Did you guys let him get kidnapped? Did you leave him at the convenience store?” Minho frantically asked, immediately standing up and getting ready to get his bag.

Seungmin sighed, hitting Minho’s leg. “Calm down, boyfriend. No, he just left the practice room saying he needed to calm down after he got a step of the choreography wrong. This was, like, before Chan got on Hyunjin’s ass for not being able to dance at the right spot,” Seungmin stated.

“You’ve seen Jisung since?”

“Nope.”

Minho sighed, throwing the rest of his chocolate bar at Seungmin. “I’m gonna go look for Jisung and check in on him. Just make sure he’s okay. Are you sure he’s not wandering somewhere on the streets of Seoul?” Minho asked, glaring at Seungmin.

“100% sure. Just make sure you avoid everyone but Jisung and me. They’re gonna try to get you to “join their side.” It’s so dumb,” Seungmin said, snorting.

Minho nodded, not really paying attention. He slung his black bag on his shoulder after shoving his water bottle in the pocket and his phone in one of the bags. Waving bye to Seungmin, he stepped out of the foggy practice room. “Damn, it really stank in there. Some fresh air is nice,” Minho mumbled to himself. 

Minho stretched, hearing some of his joints pop; he was getting old. Rifling through his backpack, Minho scrunched his face up before finding his chocolate. His eyes lit up, quickly grabbing the bar. The satisfying crunch of the wrapper made Minho want to open the bar and devour it right there. However, as much as he wanted to, there was something else he had to do.

Minho put his hand down, giving the chocolate bar a longing glance. Sighing, he pulled out his phone. JYP has developed some new fancy app that showed what practice rooms were occupied. Of course, it didn’t say who was in them, but Minho had a feeling Jisung was in Recording Studio #6. Once the app had finally loaded, Minho let out a delighted squeak, seeing that Recording Studio #6 was, indeed, occupied.

Shoving his phone in his pocket, Minho tried to figure out where he was for a second. Right, he thought, Practice Room #2. So, Recording Studio #6 was a left, right, then a straight.

Minho smiled. He’d run to Recording Studio #6 many times.

After dashing through the empty hallways, briefly pausing to bow to his seniors or say hi to new trainees, Minho arrived at Recording Studio #6, heavily panted. He usually wasn’t this out of breath, but dancing to Maze of Memories for five hours wasn’t exactly energizing.

Minho awkwardly tried to ruffling his hair, probably ruining it in the process. After a deep breath, Minho knocked on the door. “Hey, Jisung,” Minho murmured.

After a few seconds of silence, Minho heard a small sniffle. “Minho?” Jisung’s small voice asked.

Minho’s heart broke.

“Yeah, it’s me. Can I, uh, come in? If you don’t mind,” Minho said, trying to hide the fact that he knew Jisung was crying.

Shuffling. “Yeah, hold on,” Jisung replied.

After a few seconds of Minho awkwardly leaning against the wall next to the door, it finally clicked. Minho rushed to open the door, pulling it as it made a creaking sound.

Minho poked his head in, the chocolate bar slightly breaking. The room was practically dark except for the bright computer screen. A track was being produced on the software; probably one of their songs for the next album. The small red light showing that the microphone was recording caught Minho’s attention. As if it was instinct, Minho walked in the room, the heavy door shutting behind him. He walked up to the mic and found the switch, flipping it. The red light diminished.

Minho looked behind him for Jisung. The younger was curled up against the wall, surrounded by empty tissue boxes. The trashcan was filled with used tissues, and Jisung hid his face behind his sleeves. Even through the dark hoodie’s material, Minho could barely make out Jisung’s red, puffy eyes with dark circles. His nose was red from crying, and his face seemed to be twisted into a dark expression.

Minho frowned. Jisung was, of course, not always happy, but he’d never seen him this upset. Minho sat down next to Jisung, automatically pulling the younger into a hug. The younger complied, automatically melting into him. Minho softly smiled, turning Jisung’s face towards him. He stroked his hands softly through Jisung’s hair, humming a light tune. “What’s wrong, Jisung?”

Jisung sighed, shifting in his position. The dark room was practically silent, and the conversation contributed to its eerie mood.

“I had a bad day. I assume Seungmin told you about the argument we all had?” Jisung asked, glancing up at Minho for confirmation. Once his puffy eyes saw it, he continued. “Well, I was already having a bad day. I kinda, uh, well...” Jisung said, pausing.

“Go on,” Minho coaxed.

Jisung bit his lip, staring into Minho’s eyes. His own eyes were wide, as if he was holding a secret. “Please don’t get mad at me?” Jisung asked, holding his pinkie out.

Minho smiled. “I guess,” he said, taking Jisung’s hand.

Jisung nodded. “I may or may not have read through the negative comments antis left for us, even though we promised not to. I—“ Jisung whispered, starting to tear up. “Oh, Minho.... I know I shouldn’t believe them, but what if they’re right? I can’t rap better than Changbin, I’m not as good of a vocalist as Woojin, and there’s no way I can dance like you. It’s just so unnecessary to have me here.”

Minho turned angry. Jisung didn’t deserve any of the hate anyone sent his way, he thought. Jisung was perfect. Jisung was perfect. “Excuse me? You do a whole lot for this fucking team, no matter what a stupid fucking anti says. Even if you don’t believe me when I say your skills are just as good as everyone else’s, you still compose all of our songs,” Minho said. His voice had a slightly dark tone in it, hinting he was ready to fight anyone who came his way.

Jisung whimpered, burying his head further into Minho’s shoulder. “But if I’m so good at composing, why’d I debut? Couldn’t I just stay behind the scenes as a producer?” Jisung asked.

Minho bit his lip, holding back all the comments he wanted to make about the people who had done this to Jisung. “You’re perfect. Please believe me when I say this. Nothing could ever replace you, nor do you need to be replaced. You’re Han Jisung, perfect like you always are,” Minho said, waving the hand that wasn’t on Jisung’s around.

Jisung looked up at Minho before turning away. “Sometimes,” Jisung whispered, his voice soft, “I wonder if it’d be better to, you know, go see those pretty clouds.”

Minho short circuited.

“Hey, Jisung-ah, come on now. I’m way prettier than clouds,” Minho blurted out.

A brief moment of silence, before muffled laughter.

“This is a serious moment; but, what? Minho,” Jisung said between laughter.

Minho shrugged, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry, it was just the first thing that I could think of. Besides, you know, he obvious shit. Like, don’t do that. It’s not good. Seriously,” he said.

Jisung wiped his eyes, pulling away from Minho’s arms. “Yeah. Thanks, Minho. Your comment kinda made me laugh, and I really needed that. You’re the best friend I always wanted.”

Minho softly smiled. Right. Best friend. Nothing else.

Jisung looked at his phone, checking the time. “Oh, it’s 3:30 A.M. I really needed to go sleep tonight. Wanna walk to the dorms with me?” Jisung asked, standing up. He offered a hand to Minho.

Minho shook his head sadly. “Ah, no. I have to go do some recording stuff. And I wanted to learn music production, so I kinda wanted to go to the early class and just skip sleeping today,” he said, scratching the back of his head.

Jisung thoughtfully nodded. “Hm. Music production. You could join 3Racha. 4Racha. Hm,” he said, frowning. “Nope, if you joined, we’d need a new trademark.”

Minho lowly chuckled, grabbing Jisung’s hand. He suddenly remembered the chocolate, and picked it up off the ground before standing up.

“It’s getting pretty late, Minho. I’m gonna go back to the dorms. I’ll see you in a bit!” Jisung said, getting ready to walk out the door.

“Wait!” Minho said.

Jisung turned back around, looking confused.

Minho held the chocolate out to him. “It’s kinda crushed since I had it on the ground, but it’s still in its wrapper. It’s like, a gift. From me. To you. Because, like, I care about you. And stuff like that. Yeah,” Minho said, kicking his feet on the ground. He was not good with words.

Jisung’s eyes brightened as he took the chocolate. “Oh my God! I was gonna drop by the convince store on my way home to go get some chocolate, but this just solved my problem. Thanks, Minho!” Jisung exclaimed, hugging Minho.

Minho smiled, putting his hands around Jisung’s face. He liked the small blush he got from the younger. It made him feel like, maybe, Jisung liked him too. Maybe. With a smirk, Minho retracted his hands. “You’re welcome. Stay safe. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he said, trying to hide the fact that he was nervous Jisung would get kidnapped.

Jisung laughed. “I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow!” Jisung said, turning towards the door. He left the room with a loud thud.

Minho stood still in the darkness. He knew Jisung was still not okay, because Minho’s accidental pick up line could not solve all of Jisung’s troubles, but Minho liked to think he helped.

As Minho turned off the computer, saving the track Jisung made called “issue,” Minho really hoped he had helped Jisung solve his problem.

Even if it wasn’t a permanent solution, Minho thought as he locked the practice room’s door, he hoped he had done something.

Something.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s like 11 PM and I’m suFFERING YEET
> 
> please end me istG
> 
> So, to be serious about this chapter; suicide is a very serious topic. And you don’t have to talk about it to your parents or anyone if it’s uncomfortable, but please know that I love you. No matter what.
> 
> Some people may say the way Minho reacted is a douche way, but it’s genuinely the only way my friends helped me. I loved laughing because of their comparisons, and I realized that was just my happy place.
> 
> oNnN a FunnnER nOte (THATS not even a woRD) this story is gonna be thick with pLOTTT
> 
> I’m so eXCITED AHHHH


End file.
